I remember watching the movie, Darr as a teenager. It was a really popular movie of the 90s. It’s not wrong to say that Shah Rukh Khan gained his popularity from the character, Rahul, in the famous movie.
Dialogue like KKK… Kiran and the song Jaadu Teri Nazar still have a separate fan base. What’s bizarre was that I didn’t know that Shah Rukh Khan was not the lead protagonist in the movie. Only after watching the movie I realised that he was the villain.
In fact, the main hero, Sunny Deol kind of got sidelined. After the movie was released people loved the character of Shah Rukh Khan, specially girls. Some sources say that Sunny Deol was really pissed off after the movie release. He was overshadowed by a newcomer who was not even the lead.
The important thing to note here is the craze for a negative character (Shah Rukh Khan) who has fallen in one sided love with the female lead (Juhi Chawla).
Stalking which is in general considered a criminal offence was the key theme of the character Rahul, who had fallen in one sided love with Kiran. The way people admired the character, the way boys started copying Rahul, and the way the girls fantasised being stalked by a guy like Rahul told something very strange about human psychology.
Are girls attracted to bad boys?
The movie Darr is not an isolated case. We see many popular characters in famous movies that have similar insecurity and obsession, like the character of Rahul in Darr movie.
Movies like Kabir Singh and Animal have gained immense popularity, specially among the female audience, which tells about the disturbing choices, the youth make when it comes to love and relationship.
Women often come in toxic relationship with such guys and suffer and yet they choose violent guys over decent and humble ones. But why this discrimination?
There are some possible explanations:
Perception of Strength & Protection
Evolutionary psychology suggests humans may unconsciously seek partners who can provide safety, even if that comes across as dominant or controlling.
Humble guys may appear weak and soft even though they may have a huge inner strength and stability compared to the violent ones.
Thrill & Excitement
Many times, youth, seek thrill and excitement in relationship instead of stability, which seems boring at early stages of life, specially in the teenage.
Many times drama and unpredictability created by a violent partner, causes, dopamine rush, which brings thrill and excitement in relationship.
Many women regret this later when they get exhausted by the continuous chase and lack of social and financial support from their partners.
Is one sided love or an obsessive partner dangerous?
The problem related to toxic and obsessive love is not just limited to stability or self-worth in relationship, but it can be fatal in many cases.
There have been cases of one sided love similar to what we see in the movie Darr, but unfortunately, unlike the movie, the reality can turn into a fatal tragedy.
There have been many cases where similar behaviour has resulted in a big tragedy. For example, the high profile case of Priyadarshini Mattoo where such obsessive love, caused the demise of an ambitious law student, who just wanted to do good in her career.
Priyadarshini Mattoo was stalked by her senior in college, named Santosh Kumar Singh. He was the son of the then Inspector General of Police in Pondicherry.
Santosh fell in love with Priyadarshini and proposed her many times and was rejected again and again. He continued to harass her and eventually pushed her into filing police complaint against him. But he didn’t stop even after the police warning. Priyadarshini was later provided police security. Unfortunately, that was of no use!
This was an example of serious one sided obsession, which finally resulted in Priyadarshini being raped and killed at her apartment. The police security failed in protecting her.
This is not an isolated case. There are several such cases where girls become victim of such stalking and harassment.
What’s worse is that many times girls fall for such obsessive lovers, thinking that their love is the one true love. Only after getting into relationship they realise the kind of anger and insecurity that is harboured by such stalkers.
When such relationships take a toll on their personal freedom and their self worth, then they realise that it is was a trap. There is a lack of trust and mutual respect in such a partnership.
The problem is that getting involved in such abusive relationship is easy, but getting out is very difficult.
Conclusion
Stalking is a serious offence and it cannot be defended in the name of love! If a girl says ‘No’… then it means No!!!
However, if a girl decides to enter such a relationship then also it is her choice. But one must be careful about the consequences if there are red flags.
It is not wrong to seek thrill and excitement in relationship. It is also not wrong to feel possessive for your partner, but it is important to understand when that possessiveness turns into obsession and insecurity.
It is important to realise when someone is crossing the line in a relationship. Love is not just about fun and chase. Love is more about understanding and care!
If you are truly seeking a long-term relationship, then it is important to understand the value of mutual respect and trust. In relation insecurity, often leads to lack of trust and an urge to exert control over one’s partner.
Once you reach a stage of maturity in life, you realise that mutual compatibility, and financial and social security often build the foundation of a long-lasting relationship.
Thanks for reading!