Chapter 1: The break up
Mansi kept staring at Rishi sitting diagonally opposite her in the class. She had no idea what was being taught on the board. Even the hot summer heat could not distract her as she saw Riya talking so cheerfully to Rishi. It was only a month since their breakup and Rishi had moved on with Riya. Suddenly the bell rang, and Mansi rattled by the sound started looking here and there. She felt as if someone had caught her stealing.
It was lunchtime. The class nearly went empty as some students would rush to the canteen and some would use the restroom. Mansi and her best friend Tina would always bring a tiffin and would eat together. They went to the washroom and returned to class to have their meal. To Mansiâs surprise, a card and chocolate was on her desk. Tina immediately started teasing Mansi. âYou did not tell me! Did you start dating someone again?â Tina enquired.
Mansi was taken by surprise. She had no idea who must have kept it there. She was getting goosebumps.
Tina started making guesses. âCould it be Tarun? … he is your lab partner. Or maybe Kundan âŠhe had a crush on you in the eighth standard âŠremember? âŠor Madhav, your neighbor?â Tina kept guessing names when Mansi interrupted, âDo you think Rishi would keep it here?â
Tina got infuriated. âHow often have I told you he is not the right person for you? He does not care. Look he has already moved on with Riya. You should do the same.â
Mansi got sad and spoke back, âWho would keep this on my desk?â
Tina tried to cheer her, and said, âI think you have a secret admirer.â
Mansi was not happy but she had no control over her situation. She could not accept the card and chocolate from someone anonymous. So, she left it on the desk after the school was over.
Mansi and Tina would walk back to home together. Tina kept telling Mansi all about Rishiâs affair with Riya. Even though Mansi and Riya were not on good terms Tina was still friends with her.
âDid Rishi ever give you a gift when you two were dating? NoâŠnever. And he is so mad for Riya that he brought her a beautiful dress last week. No occasionâŠjust like that.,â Tina went on with her complaints.
Tina never approved of Mansi and Rishiâs relationship even when they were dating. Mansi kept hearing all the painful information being poured on her.
She went home and cried a bit in her room. After lunch, she would take a nap and then get back to her studies. Boards were over but she had to be well prepared for her intermediate level. Given the condition of her heart, she had to put a lot of effort into staying focused. She was the topper of the class and didnât want to mess up her academic record.
Whenever she opened the book, she would get distracted by the memories of her relationship with Rishi. He was the most handsome boy in school and she had a huge crush on him since very early.
Last year when they participated in a quiz together, they got a chance to be friends. She was so happy. When he proposed to her she was in the seventh heaven. She remembered the first time when he kissed her, she got goosebumps. She was deeply infatuated by him. Even a slight touch of his hand would drive her crazy.
The first few months they were happy but then he started drifting away. Mansi knew that Rishi was not the kind of guy who would stay committed for long. He changed girlfriends frequently. His popularity among girls was not new. But Mansi wanted to be his true love. That didnât end well.
She didnât realize how time went by and she was still stuck on the first page. She decided to take a walk. Not her favourite feat but she needed some air. It was so hot and humid that she was sweating badly. She walked to a nearby park and sat down on a bench.
âHey! Never seen you here before?â a voice caught her attention. It was Rohit from her class. He came close and sat down on the same bench.
âYeah! I rarely come to the park. What about you?â she replied.
Rohit replied, âI come here daily. There is a basketball court nearby. I play there.â
Mansi smiled. Rohit smiled back and they sat there in silence for some time before parting ways.
Chapter 2: A new love
Later it became a regular thing. Mansi needed some distraction and Rohit was giving her the same. He was handsome and quite intelligent, unlike Rishi who barely passed the subjects. Because of their regular meetings in the park, Rohit and Mansi started hanging out in the school as well. They were in the same class but were not more than competitors until they met in the park.ï»ż
Mansi did not feel as attracted to Rohit as she was to Rishi, but at least he was a friendly companion. She could talk to him about studies and other kinds of stuff. Unlike Tina, he would not feed her with negative thoughts about her ex-boyfriend.
Tina could feel the growing distance between her and Mansi. Earlier Mansi would discuss every little detail of her life with Tina. But now she does not even mention her new friend to her. Tina tried to talk about Rohit but in vain.
âWe just started talking in class. âŠHe asked for some notes on the last lecture on Physics. What else should I say? âŠhe was asking about the science project submission dateâŠâ These would be Mansiâs responses whenever Tina enquired about Rohit.
A few days passed by. Tina and Mansi were talking less. Mansi would often meet Rohit in class as well as in the park. She started suspecting that Rohit had a thing for her. She thought maybe he was her secret admirer.
One day during lunch when Mansi came into the class, she saw Rishi kissing his girlfriend Riya on the cheek. They were celebrating Riyaâs birthday. Rishi had brought a cake for her. They were so happy together. Mansi felt as if her heart was aching badly. She went out of the class and sat down on the staircase. As she wept her pain away, she was approached by Tina. Tina tried to console Mansi but didnât say anything. Mansi realized how much she had missed being like that with Tina. She talked to her and apologized for her ignorance.
âItâs not your fault. I should have been more considerate of your feelings,â Said Tina.
Mansi replied back without trying to hide her tears, âI am trying not to think about him but I always fail. I was mad at you because you reminded me of him in most negative ways. But I realize that I canât ignore him.â
Tina took a deep breath and spoke back to Mansi, âI understand. I will not mention him again.â
Then suddenly Tina changed her tone and with a mischievous smile asked Mansi, âWhat about Rohit? Can I mention him?â
Mansi started laughing. A shy Mansi finally told Tina about her first meeting with Rohit. She mentioned that she has been going to the park ever since they met there.
Mansi added further, âYou know I feel that he may have feelings for me. Sometimes I even think if he kept that card on my desk?â
Tina started teasing her friend and said that it was possible. She said that Rohit was handsome and smart and hence was a perfect match for Mansi.
Both friends talked for a while on the staircase and then went back to the class. Mansi realized that she had been harsh on Tina. She resolved to make up for it. After school, she introduced Tina to Rohit.
âRohit, this is my best friend Tina, and Tina he is Rohit,â said Mansi.
âHello, Tinaâ Rohit addressed Tina in a bit shaky voice.
âHi, Rohitâ Tina replied in her usual mischievous tone.
Mansi didnât feel good about that meeting. Rohit was confident when he first spoke to her in the park. Why was he nervous around Tina? Mansi knew that Tina was far more beautiful than her and sometimes it made her insecure. But Mansi told herself that she was overthinking it. Even when she was dating Rishi, she would try to keep him away from Tina. He would often flirt with her and that would always irritate Mansi. But in Rishiâs case, Tina knew that Rishi was committed to Mansi. She would never respond to his flirting. But Tina was comfortable with Rohit. And Rohit was single for the time being. That was causing Mansi pain.
On the bus, Mansi kept thinking about everything that had happened that day. She would blame herself for introducing Tina to Rohit. But then she would console herself by saying that if Rohit was interested in Tina he would have approached her already.
That day she couldnât wait to go to the park. She was waiting eagerly to meet Rohit. When the time finally came, she got ready in her best dress. She made her hair differently. She was putting an effort to look her best that day. When she went to the park, Rohit was already sitting on the bench.
âHey! How are you doing?â Mansi asked Rohit.
âI am doing greatâ Rohit replied in a joyful tone.
Mansi took her seat on the bench and looked at Rohit, âYou look very happy today.â
âYeah, we won the game todayâ, Rohit replied back.
Mansi congratulated him. They talked for a long time that day. Mansi was relieved that there was no mention of Tina in their conversation.
The next day in school Mansi sat next to Tina. They discussed a lot of stuff. Mansi was very happy that day. She was back with her friend and she was expecting to start a relationship with Rohit.
A few days went by. Mansi, Tina, and Rohit started hanging out together. They started meeting outside the school as well.
One day Mansi asked Tina if she should propose to Rohit or wait for him to say it.
Tina said, âIt is not a good idea for you to say anything. Let us make him say it.â
Mansi asked, âHow?â
Tina spoke back, âNow even I am friends with him. I can indirectly try to know his feelings for you. Or I can ask directly?â
Mansi denied it immediately. She told Tina that it would not be a good way to approach him. She asked Tina to promise that she wonât say a word to Rohit. Tina agreed and then they didnât talk about it.
On the bus, Mansi kept thinking, âIt was the right thing to do. Tina would mess up everything. What if she portrayed me as a desperate girl? She is like that. She is pretty but she plays cool around guys and makes me look bad. She did the same with Rishi. She would always tell him that she didnât care about love and relationship. Even when she had a fair share of her relationships. She hides them and thinks she is cool. Rishi would flirt with her anyway. He had stopped valuing me and I canât let that happen again.â
Mansi was deeply involved in her negative thoughts as if it was some kind of pattern. One moment she would think that Tina was her best friend and, in another moment, she would start treating her as a nemesis.
Chapter 3: A broken heart
In the park, she could not focus on her conversation with Rohit. He kept speaking about some financial issues in the family. He had to submit his fees and was behind the due date. He kept speaking but Mansi was not paying attention.ï»ż
âI think I must start taking some tuition. I wonât be able to continue with sports. I need time. From tomorrow I may not even come to the parkâŠâ Rohit kept speaking and suddenly Mansi interrupted, âWhat??…why? why would you not come to the park?â
âAre you even listening?â Rohit looked a bit irritated.
Mansi apologized, âI am sorry. I was a bit distracted. You have to pay your feesâŠright?â
âYes, and I am going to take tuition. From tomorrow I wonât be able to spare much timeâ Rohit replied.
Mansi was feeling a deep amount of pain and anger at the same time. She felt as if her happiness was always ruined by some bad forces around her. She again started blaming Tina for all her troubles.
The next evening Mansi came to the park only to find empty benches. Rohit did not come. It almost became a routine. Even in school, he didnât talk much with her. She would go to the park in the expectation of finding him there.
She spoke to Tina and asked her, âAre you in touch with Rohit? It seems as if he is ignoring me.â
Tina didnât make eye contact with Mansi as if hiding something. She said, âYou are overthinking it. He said he had financial troubles back at home. He is taking tuition and managing his own course at the same time. He is just busy.â
âThen I can help him, right? He is not even taking my help. Remember how I helped Rishi during board exams? I am good at academics. Why is he not asking me?â, Mansi said anxiously.
Tina finally looked at her and said, âMansi dear! I donât want to be direct with you because I know you are sensitive. But I donât think he is interested in you. He just wants to focus on his studies. So let him do that.â
Mansi was dumbstruck. She did not know what to say. After a long pause, she asked Tina, âDid you speak to him about me?â
Tina hesitatingly replied, âNo! But I can sense it.â
Mansi spoke nothing else. In her mind, she was sure that Tina was the reason why Rohit was not talking to her. She must have told him about Mansiâs feelings. What if she said something else? …Something which made him hate her?
Days went by and the summer vacations started. Mansi didnât see Rohit for about a week but she would still go to the park in the hope of finding him there. She was not able to focus on her studies. As she drifted away from Tina, she made new friends from her coaching classes. Diya was one of her friends in the Maths coaching. She was nice but she spent most of her time with her boyfriend Akash. They both were so much into each other that it made Mansi jealous. She would often hang out with them after the class.
One day after the class was over the three of them stayed back to solve some math exercises together. Mansi was sitting on one bench and Diya and Akash sat together on the next bench side by side. As Mansi was solving her problems, she realized that Akash was cuddling Diya. Mansi was feeling a bit uncomfortable. She tried not to look. But then they started kissing and Mansi could not resist. As she looked at them, she was filled with jealousy. She packed her bag and left. All the way she kept thinking about Diya and Akash and she would imagine how things would have been if she had been in a relationship.
Mansi was going through physical and emotional changes. Itâs true that at one point she only craved love from Rishi and Rohit but in time she realized that she was craving physical intimacy and warmth as well. She couldnât sleep that night. She kept thinking about Rohit. She imagined how she would make love with him when they would be together. She was sure that this time she would go and directly propose to Rohit without involving Tina.
That summer vacation was the longest of her life. For the first time in her life, she was careless about her studies. She only longed for Rohit. She would spend an enormous amount of time in that park. One day Diya invited Mansi for her birthday party. They decided to go to a cafĂ©. It was Mansiâs first time at that place. The exterior of the cafĂ© was beautiful and the interior was full of young boys and girls hanging together in many groups. Mansi soon realized that the cafĂ© was couple-friendly, which was why Diya and Akash might have chosen the place. As much as she loved them, she envied their intimate relationship.
They sat together and ordered cold coffee and chocolate pastries. Diya and Akash had grown quite comfortable with Mansi. They asked Mansi to wait at the table and they would come back in some time. Diya told Mansi in her ear, âYou know there is a couples spot upstairs, in case you decide to come here in the future.â Diya gave a mischievous smile and took Akash upstairs. Mansi was again left alone.
Just then a waiter came to Mansi and said, âSorry mam! Chocolate pastries are over. Can you order something else?â
Mansi didnât know what to order on behalf of Diya and Akash. She was not that familiar with their taste.
She said, âGive me some time. I will tell you.â
As the waiter went back, Mansi decided to go upstairs. She didnât feel proud of herself but she was actually looking for a reason to go upstairs and look at the couples making out. She felt guilty for being so desperate but at the same time, she was also getting an adrenaline rush.
As she reached the terrace area, she saw a few couples making out in different corners and as she looked around something caught her attention. She almost froze at what she saw. It was Rohit making out with Tina. They were sitting on a bench holding each other tightly. Tina held Rohit as he kissed her on her cheek and neck, and Mansi could not take it anymore.
âYou bitch! How dare you?â Mansi screamed at a high pitch.
Everyone turned around in shock. Rohit and Tina were taken by surprise. Tina started correcting her clothes as Mansi walked speedily towards her. Rohit came in between and pushed her away.
âMind your language, Mansi! You canât talk to her like thatâ Rohit screamed back at her.
Mansi was mad with jealousy. She screamed as tears rolled down her cheek, âYou bitch! You were my best friend and you stole him from me!â
Tina stayed silent with her eyes down but Rohit started defending her. âShe didnât do anything. I loved her! It was always her. When did I commit anything to you? Tell me.â Rohit asked furiously.
Mansi went close to Rohit and held his arms, âBut Rohit, I met you first. I introduced you to Tina. You didnât know her. You loved me, right? You kept that card on my deskâŠright?â
Rohit pushed Mansi away and spoke back, âAre you crazy? I meet so many girls daily. Do I love them all? You and I were just friends. I always loved Tina. And I didnât give you any card.â
âThen why did you stop speaking to me? We were friends, right?â asked Mansi in a sarcastic tone.
Rohit looked towards Tina and then looked at Mansi, âLook, Mansi! I donât love you. I never did. I loved Tina and I proposed to her. She denied my proposal because of you. She didnât want to hurt you. But we loved each other. We canât stay apart to please you.â
Rohit had calmed himself. His tone had a bit of empathy now. He said, âI stopped talking to you because I came to know of your feelings. I didnât want you to get any wrong impression. And I definitely didnât want to lose Tina.â
He knew Mansi was hurting but he could not let her hurt Tina. Tina was overwhelmed by the situation and did not speak anything. Rohit hugged her and tried to comfort her. Mansi looked at them hopelessly. As she turned back, she realized that everyone was looking at her including Diya and Akash.
She felt embarrassed by her actions. As she walked down the stairs, she could hear the whispers behind her. âWhat a desperate girlâŠ. poor girlâŠis she crazy? âŠâ was all she could hear. She went straight to her home. She knew that soon everyone in the school would be talking about it. Akash would tell the boys in her class who study at the coaching center. Sooner or later, even Rishi would come to know of it.
Chapter 4: Love and friendship
For a week Mansi didnât leave her house. Even her parents were concerned. She made excuses for illness or a headache. She found comfort in her books and mostly stayed in her room. After a week she finally decided to go back to coaching. She went to the class, silently sat at the back bench, and didnât look anywhere except towards the board. As the class got over, she quickly packed her bag to leave but as soon as she stepped out of the class, Diya stopped her from behind.ï»ż
Mansi had to stop. Diya asked her, âAre you ok?â Mansi nodded in a yes. Diya spoke back to her, âYou missed an entire week. Here, take my notes. You will need it.â Diya handed her a notebook. Mansi was not expecting this. She took the notes and kept them in her bag.
Diya spoke in a comforting tone, âIf you need anything then ask me. Donât hesitate.â
Mansi smiled and took a leave. She was at ease. Unlike her nightmares the reality was soothing. No one teased her or made fun of her. Diya helped her and showed concern. She realized how deeply she was caught in her negative emotions.
Things started going back to normal for her. She focussed on her studies and was regular in the coaching class as well. The vacations got over and finally, the classes would resume.
It was the first day in class after vacation. She sat at her usual place. Tina was now seated along Rohit. They were officially a couple now. Mansi was not as affected as she should have. She realized that it was her infatuation for Rohit which grew stronger when she realized that he was not into her. She remembered how she had wept on seeing Rishi kiss Riya. Even then she was friends with Rohit but was only thinking about Rishi. Once Rohit showed interest in Tina, she felt the desire to get him.
In time she realized that most of her pain was caused because of her jealousy towards her best friend. The moment she found out the cause of her pain was the moment her healing began. She was back to being the topper of the class.
It was time for Physics lab. Tarun was Mansiâs lab partner. He sat with her as she prepared notes for their experiment. Tarun was usually very talkative in the lab but he was quite silent that day. Mansi initiated the conversation, âHow was your vacation?â
Tarun replied, âIt was just fine. I was busy with coaching and I was even taking tuitions for junior students. So, it was busy.â
Mansi said, âThat is really nice.â
Tarun stayed silent and didnât even look at her. Mansi got worried. She didnât want to get affected but she was again getting very negative feelings. She bluntly asked Tarun, âIs something wrong? Did I do something?â
Tarun looked at her and said, âDo you like Rohit?â
Mansi was shocked. All her fears came rushing back to her mind. So, everyone is talking about her breakdown? She spoke after a pause, âI had a crush. But I am not talking to him anymore.â
Tarun took a deep breath and spoke again, âI gave you the card and chocolate and you didnât take it. I thought you were not interestedâŠâ
âWhat??? …It was you?â Mansi interrupted him.
âOf course, it was meâ Tarun replied.
âHow would I know, when you didnât put a note?â Mansi was confused.
Tarun felt a bit agitated. He tried to control his volume as he spoke back, âDidnât Tina tell you? It was her plan. I had told her about my feelings for you.â
Mansi lost her temper at that point. All the memories came back rushing to her mind. Tina had suggested a few names including Tarun when she could have told Mansi about him straightforwardly. She kept thinking it was Rohit and yet Tina did not once correct her.
Mansi left her seat and went towards Tina when she remembered her breakdown at the cafĂ©. She controlled her anger and went back to her seat for the time being. Later in lunchtime, she went to Tinaâs seat and suggested that they must talk in private.
Tina was about to get up when Rohit held her hand and asked her to sit. âI will not leave her alone. Say whatever you want to, right hereâ Rohit spoke in firm words.
Mansi gave an angry glance to Rohit and then confronted Tina, âYou knew that Tarun left that card and chocolate at the table and yet you didnât tell me. When I told you that it could be RohitâŠstill you kept your silence and made me believe that Rohit might have feelings for meâŠDo you have an explanation?â
Tina was shocked. She didnât expect this coming. As she tried to mumble words out of her mouth, Rohit asked her, âWhat is going on?â
Tina asked in a shaky voice, âMansi we should talk in private.â
Mansi nodded against it and looked at Rohit in a sarcastic way. She turned to Tina and said, âI never tried to hurt you even when you caused me the most pain. But now I have lost my patience. I have already been embarrassed multiple times. If you donât answer truly then I will reveal about your affair to your parents.â
Tinaâs guilt now took the form of rage. She at once spoke back, âSeriously! You have stooped so low? You will tell my parents?â
Rohit tried to calm her and said, âItâs fine. Let her say. It doesnât matter. We will tell our parents before her.â
Mansi burst into laughter and said, âYou are a moron! The class may not know but I have a record of all her affairs ok. Do you think she will talk about you to her parents? She will break up with you.â
Tina shook her head in disagreement and said, âOK fine! You want to know the truth. I didnât tell you because you couldnât stop trying to get back to that Rishi. I wanted you to date a normal guy like Tarun. But you always go after boys above your standard âŠFirst Rishi then you started craving for Rohitâ
Mansi went mad after hearing those words, âWhat standard? Rishi dated me. You had a crush on him for years and yet he chose me.â
Tina looked around. Rishi was standing there. She felt humiliated. Mansi had promised never to speak about any of her crushes to anyone and now everyone in class was witnessing her humiliation. She lost her temper and screamed back at Mansi, âYou think he liked you? He kept flirting with me and you thought he liked you? He chose you because he wanted to pass his board exam you fool. Remember how he threw you away after the results came out!â
Things went ugly pretty soon. The best friends hold most information about each other and when things get dirty then it stains both. Both started putting the blame on each other and revealed secrets that they had held for years.
Rohit tried hard to calm them down but in vain. What came next blew away their friendship forever. When Mansi came to know that her first love was a fraud, she could not hold it. Tina realized now that she had done great damage. But words once spoken cannot be taken back. Mansi played her last card and said, âAt least he used me to get a good score on his marksheet. At least I fell in love with a fellow student. I am not like you who dates a married man twice her age and still makes out with her classmate!â
At that point, everyone fell silent. Tina was devoid of words and so was Rohit. Tina looked at Rohit who looked back at her in complete disappointment. He left the class immediately. Tina burst into tears and ran out of the class. Mansi was now coming back to her senses. She felt like a degraded human being devoid of any soul. She had humiliated and disgraced her best friend to prove her point.
Nothing was the same after that day. Tina was so depressed that she dropped out that year and left the school. Rohit never talked to Tina or Mansi. And Mansi who didnât have a choice of dropping out or changing the school continued there for a year. She failed the exams for the first time in her life. Her parents thought she did it on purpose and hence, instead of transferring her to another school, they made her study in the same school. She joined the junior batch. Though it was a new class now she was popular among the students for all the wrong reasons.
The only person who was happy in this turmoil was Rishi. He became more popular after two girls fought over him. But he was no longer looking for casual flings as he was in true love with Riya.
Mansi would often wonder if there was a way to go back in time and restart from the point when she broke up with Rishi. What if she had moved on? Tina would have talked about Tarun. She would have not gone to the stupid park. She would not have met Rohit. She would have been friends with Tina. They would be preparing for their intermediate exams, looking forward to a successful future.
That summer burnt down everything.
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